Five Ways To Simplify

At the start of 2016, you may be searching for a new way to make your life easier. Many people often look for a fast and easy way to have a better life. Often they buy into the myth that if they just add one more thing then everything will be great. You hear it on the television and radio. If you just buy this product then you will be more _______________ (beautiful, wanted, successful…). That’s a loud voice in our world.

But I want to offer you another voice today. The thing you are looking for may not be found in adding more things to your life. Instead, the thing you might need most in 2016 is the very opposite. You may need to simplify.

To simplify means to make something easier to do or understand. Simplifying is a practice. It’s a habit that you have to learn over time because removing things is never easier. For that reason the act of simplifying may seem strange, but many people are trying it anyway. And what they are finding is that by decreasing clutter in their lives then they are inviting greater calm into their lives.

Here are five ways to practice simplicity:

Mari Kondo's The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:

This book has become a viral sensation.  It is a #1 New York Times bestseller and has inspired thousands of people to re-evaluate (or evaluate for the first time) how they organize, tidy, or let go of possessions.  Kondo walks readers through the process of determining what needs to stay and what needs to go. The question that resonated with me was “does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If it doesn’t, then pass it along to someone else.

Wardrobe Capsule –

To create a wardrobe capsule you need to determine how many items of clothing you actually need to create your entire wardrobe. Yes, I said, “Actually need.” The goal is to clean out your closet and have a limited number of clothing choices. Check out Pinterest for ideas.

A wardrobe capsule also helps combat Decision Fatigue. Science has shown that people can only make a certain amount of decisions in a day before it begins to wear them down completely. Choosing your outfit, breakfast, and what podcast to listen to are just a few of the decisions that build up through an ordinary day. Using a wardrobe capsule is one easy way to lower the number of decisions you make and give your brain some rest.  

Season of "No" –

For many people, the idea of saying no makes them very uncomfortable. There is guilt or fear tied to “what if they think I am selfish?” Or we might even experience a small case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). But we have to remember something essential: saying yes to something means saying no to something else.

So if you say “yes” to being on the neighborhood HOA, then you may miss a birthday dinner for your friend. If you say “yes” to a weekend away with your girlfriends, then you may have to say “no” to a family event that same weekend.

Establishing a season of no allows you to determine a period of time when you say “no” to anything extra that comes your way. You decide the boundaries of this season and what it does and does not include. A season of no allows you to simplify your schedule and say “yes” to being present in other surprising ways.

Create a budget –

Money makes the world go round, but it also helps you make choices. Creating a budget allows you to have an informed “yes” or “no” to new purchases or expenses. Unless you love working with numbers, budgeting may be a hard task for you. But it empowers you to be able to take a realistic view of your life and your income.

Create space for margin-

Margin is intentionally “blank space” in your life. Cultivating a schedule with margin allows you to move from a packed calendar to a more balanced life. Maybe this means Saturday morning’s schedule is empty. Maybe it means Tuesday and Thursday evenings are yours to spend however you wish. For some, the spiritual practice of Sabbath creates space for such margin. It is a practice intended to slow your life down because you have faith that someone else is in control. 

Each of the above tools is intended to move you towards a healthier way of life. Pick one and see what it does for your next week, month, or even year. If you would like to talk with someone more in depth about how to simplify in your own life, then please contact Jessica today. I am happy to talk with you about possibilities for you to have a healthier 2016.  

Three Questions to Ask Before 2016

I like to ask myself questions at the end of the year. This ritual of reflection can be difficult because some years do not provide easy answers. But often the process of trying to name answers to my questions creates helpful internal dialogue.

Sometimes wrestling with various questions may help you to see how far you have come over the course of the year. 

Three Questions to Ask Before 2016

• What was your high of 2015? 
  Was there a "win" for the year? Was there a theme in your life that brought you great joy? Was there a season or moment that you are most proud of? 
   
• What was your low of 2015?
  Was there a hardship or loss during the year? Was there a season of grief or heartache that is larger than others? Was there a difficulty that taught you a lesson during this year? 
   
• What do you want out of 2016?
  What are you hopeful for in this next year? What would you want your "win" or "high" to be at the end of 2016? What do you dream will happen in the next year of your life? 

Wrestle with these questions. Write the answers down. You may be surprised by what you learn about 2015. Even better, you might be surprised by where you want to go in 2016.

After you put down some answers, think about sharing your thoughts with a friend over a meal. Consider posting them on a bathroom mirror so they are visible through the year. By keeping these questions and answers in front of you then you are better able to see where you have been and where you are going. 

If beginning to see a counselor or therapist in Nashville is something you want out of 2016, please contact Jessica@JessicaMcCoyCounseling.com. I am happy to help you wrestle with these questions and maybe even discover some new ones. 

Self-Care Saturday: Self-Care for Teachers

Dear Teachers, thank you for being our children’s cheerleaders, nurses, life-skill givers, role models, hope givers, and coaches. Did I mention educators? You wear many hats and give so much of yourself to your students. Thank you. 

But what about you? What are you leaving for yourself? How are you making sure your cup is full? What are your self-care practices? Here are a few extra you may want to add.

Ask for Help

Create space to question what areas of your life need additional support. Do you need to ask another teacher or class parent for assistance? Do you need help from family and friends at home? What about attending a training or conference to help you develop as an educator? 

If you work at a school where parents are not able to help, then consider contacting a local church.  Ask if one of their Bible classes or small groups would be willing to be a local, strategic partner with your classroom. Share the specific needs in your classroom. (If you are reading this and are not a teacher then think about how you or your community could partner with a classroom if that fits in with you own self-care practice).

Name a specific item that would help to free up time to take care of you. Then ask for help. 

Check in with your body

Do you need to eat nutritious foods, get more sleep, or exercise? Do you need to find another teacher to watch your class so you can take a much-needed bathroom break? What about simply taking a deep breath in the middle of a chaotic day? 

Set your daily intention

List the reasons you are a teacher. What values, passions, and personal strengths led you to this field? Use this list to clarify your intentions for every school day. You might also consider creating artwork that visualizes your intention.

Here is an example of what this daily intention could look like, “I am passionate about helping children find their own learning style and discover their incredible abilities. I am skilled at creating a safe environment where every child can learn to be their true self.”  Post it somewhere visible and set your daily intention.

Create an end of day ritual

This is one way to strengthen boundaries between work and the rest of your life. You may laugh off the idea of leaving work at work. Yes, I recognize how grading, lesson plans, and school extracurriculars impact your schedule. On the other hand, if there is any way for you to create a space between your workload and your personal life then begin to implement an end of day ritual.

These rituals are anything you can do to close out your workday. Here are some ideas of how you can leave work after the bell rings (or after you finish your lesson plans hours after the bell rings):

·      Walk the perimeter of your classroom and say a prayer for your students.

·      Do a yoga pose or stretch.

·      Rub a favorite lotion into your hands.

·      Listen to an audiobook on the way home (I listened to all the Harry Potter audiobooks on the way home from my counseling internship and it was a great). 

·      Implement a five-minute meditation.

·      Turn off notifications for work emails on your phone.

·      Meet another teacher for a lap or two around the school or track.

·      Write down one “win” for the day. 

I hope this helps you in your self-care practices. If you are ready to add going to counseling as self-care practice and live in Tennessee, then click here to schedule your free 15-minute consult.