Self-Care Saturday: Time In and Time Off

Time is precious. Time is a gift. Time goes fast. Every day we choose how to spend our time. Maybe you choose to wake up early to watch the sunrise. Or maybe you are like me and choose to hit snooze until the alarm breaks. We all make choices with our time, so what choices are you making? Each week the self-care experiments offered are intended to help you make better choices with your time. Here are two more for you to consider this week. 

Take Time Off

People joke about taking a “mental health” day off from work. The level of workplace stress continues to rise for a majority of Americans. Employees report that stress is impacting them both inside and outside of the office due to issues like relationship struggles and increased workload. 

One recent internal review of a large corporation reported that employees who use more vacation days receive more positive performance reviews. This report is another reminder that self-care can strengthen your abilities at work. 

When we take time off we are creating healthy boundaries and a better work/life balance. This balancing act is not easy, though. Taking time for ourselves only seems to ignite those loud, negative voices many of us hear. “If I am not there it won’t get done right?” “What if they realize they can do it better without me?” When we never take a break from work then we can never do our best work. 

So when is your next day off? How might an extra few hours away from work improve your work? Grab a calendar and write it down (in pen!) so you will get some time off soon. Enjoy!

Schedule Time with Marble Jar Friends 

In Daring Greatly,  Brené Brown shares a story about her daughter, Ellen. In Ellen’s third grade classroom, the teacher has a marble jar. When the class makes good choices, then the teacher adds a marble to the jar. When the class makes inappropriate choices, then the teacher removes a marble. Once the “good decision” jar is full the class would celebrate (insert ice cream here). 

That same year Ellen experienced a hurtful experience with her friends. So her mom ended up trying to explain relationships to her daughter. Brené says, “I told Ellen to think about her friendship as marble jars. Whenever someone supports you, or is kind to you, or sticks up for you, or honors what you share with them as private, you put marbles in the jar.When people are mean, or disrespectful, or share your secrets, marbles come out.” She continues, “Trust is built one marble at a time.” 

Each of us can think of friends who we trust and enjoy being around. Friends who desire for you to grow towards the healthiest version of yourself are marble jar friends. Finding time for these life-giving friendships help to create a positive relational balance in your life.  When you choose to spend time with these people, then you are making a healthy self-care decision. So pick up the phone and give that marble jar friend a call (insert ice cream here)!

If you are still overwhelmed with work stress or frustrated with non-marble jar friends, feel free to call me at (615) 979-4167 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. If you are looking for more self-care ideas, then be sure to check out previous recommendations or check back next week for other ways make different choices with your time.

Self-Care Saturday: Settling The Sounds

Every day is full of noise. Your television, the radio, your conversations, and nature only begin to fill our ears with everyday sounds. While all of those sounds may fill your life with positives experiences, more and more people are looking for countercultural quiet spaces. This week’s experiments help cultivate quiet spaces where you can truly let go of the noises that fill your life. 

These two self-care concepts work together and are considered important spiritual practices.  Solitude is about making space. Silence is about getting quiet. When you enter into times of solitude and silence you do so with hope and trust that God will speak, convict, and change us.  Solitude and silence may seem daunting or strange for some of you. These practices are difficult for many people as they begin to practice them. Do not feel pressure to get solitude and silence “right.” It is a practice and not meant to be something that you do perfectly. 

Ruth Haley Barton paints a beautiful image of what solitude and silence can look and feel like. She describes one way to think of this time is to imagine a mason jar filled with sand and water. When you shake a mason jar there is a blurry mix of elements making it impossible to see clearly. It is only when you set down the jar and let the sand settle that you are able to see with clarity. 

Solitude and silence serve a similar function. This time is about getting alone with God, letting the various elements of our lives settle, so that you can see and hear God more clearly. This time is a precious gift because we rarely take the initiative to stop, settle, and listen for God. 

Where in your week can you practice solitude and silence? Cutting the grass? Driving to work? In the morning before the rest of your household wakes up? It is amazing to think what you may see if the “sand” of your life settled and you were able to see your life more clearly. 

If you are are looking for someone to discuss your connection to self, others, and God then call me at (615) 979-4167 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’m happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to a person right for you. 

Self-Care Saturday: Breathing It In

We all face hard situations at some point in our lives. Some of us face those difficulties with friends or family by our side. Others of us do not have a community of loved ones to support us through those challenges. If you have experienced either of these realities, then you know the importance of connection. This week’s self-care opportunities are intended to help cultivate connections in your life—both with yourself and others. 

Burn the Candles

If you are like me, then at least once a year someone gives you a candle as a present for your birthday or Christmas. I love a good candle because it calms me down and just the right smell can take me back to good memories.  My favorite candle growing up was Dream by Gap. I loved it so much that I never burnt it because I did not want to waste it. So I would look at it, smell it, return it to the shelf, but I never touched it with a flame. Until one day, I decided to light it. Shauna Niequist’s blog entry “Burn the Candle” triggered this memory. In her blog, she encourages her readers to burn their candles, wear the expensive perfume that is still in the box, and wear the sparkly earrings. “Because it’s not about candles or coffee. It’s about believing that you’re worth the good stuff,  that someone wanted you to feel loved and seen and known.” She is right. You are worth the good stuff. Spend time this week remembering that you are worth the good stuff while that delicious candle burns. Hopefully, it will calm you down, take you back to good memories, and help you connect with yourself again. 

Practicing Breath Prayer

There are seasons in life when hurting people surround us. Your friend’s parent has cancer. Your sister lost her job. Your grandmother is not doing as well as she was last month. Your best friend shares heartbreaking news of another miscarriage. No one is immune to these tragedies and often you become like a sponge only soaking up heartache. You may say a prayer for your friends before bed, but as the list of petitions grows longer sometimes you feel like you cannot absorb any more. One way to help release this overwhelmed feeling is through Breath Prayer. This kind of prayer helps create awareness and connection with those who are hurting. Throughout your day, or even while you are with others, you can begin to pay attention to your breathing by taking deep, slow breaths. As you breathe in pray for healing. As you breathe out pray for peace. This practice is one that is helpful in the midst of a busy day or during a season of life when you find yourself surrounded by many in need of healing or peace. By regularly carrying out this practice you will find yourself connecting to others in a whole new way. 

If you are still feeling stuck connecting with yourself or others, then feel free to call me at (615) 979-4167 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’m happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to a person right for you. If you are looking for more self-care ideas, then be sure to check out previous recommendations or check back next week for other ways to invest in a better you.