Self-Care Saturday: Settling The Sounds

Every day is full of noise. Your television, the radio, your conversations, and nature only begin to fill our ears with everyday sounds. While all of those sounds may fill your life with positives experiences, more and more people are looking for countercultural quiet spaces. This week’s experiments help cultivate quiet spaces where you can truly let go of the noises that fill your life. 

These two self-care concepts work together and are considered important spiritual practices.  Solitude is about making space. Silence is about getting quiet. When you enter into times of solitude and silence you do so with hope and trust that God will speak, convict, and change us.  Solitude and silence may seem daunting or strange for some of you. These practices are difficult for many people as they begin to practice them. Do not feel pressure to get solitude and silence “right.” It is a practice and not meant to be something that you do perfectly. 

Ruth Haley Barton paints a beautiful image of what solitude and silence can look and feel like. She describes one way to think of this time is to imagine a mason jar filled with sand and water. When you shake a mason jar there is a blurry mix of elements making it impossible to see clearly. It is only when you set down the jar and let the sand settle that you are able to see with clarity. 

Solitude and silence serve a similar function. This time is about getting alone with God, letting the various elements of our lives settle, so that you can see and hear God more clearly. This time is a precious gift because we rarely take the initiative to stop, settle, and listen for God. 

Where in your week can you practice solitude and silence? Cutting the grass? Driving to work? In the morning before the rest of your household wakes up? It is amazing to think what you may see if the “sand” of your life settled and you were able to see your life more clearly. 

If you are are looking for someone to discuss your connection to self, others, and God then call me at (615) 979-4167 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’m happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to a person right for you. 

Self-Care Saturday: Breathing It In

We all face hard situations at some point in our lives. Some of us face those difficulties with friends or family by our side. Others of us do not have a community of loved ones to support us through those challenges. If you have experienced either of these realities, then you know the importance of connection. This week’s self-care opportunities are intended to help cultivate connections in your life—both with yourself and others. 

Burn the Candles

If you are like me, then at least once a year someone gives you a candle as a present for your birthday or Christmas. I love a good candle because it calms me down and just the right smell can take me back to good memories.  My favorite candle growing up was Dream by Gap. I loved it so much that I never burnt it because I did not want to waste it. So I would look at it, smell it, return it to the shelf, but I never touched it with a flame. Until one day, I decided to light it. Shauna Niequist’s blog entry “Burn the Candle” triggered this memory. In her blog, she encourages her readers to burn their candles, wear the expensive perfume that is still in the box, and wear the sparkly earrings. “Because it’s not about candles or coffee. It’s about believing that you’re worth the good stuff,  that someone wanted you to feel loved and seen and known.” She is right. You are worth the good stuff. Spend time this week remembering that you are worth the good stuff while that delicious candle burns. Hopefully, it will calm you down, take you back to good memories, and help you connect with yourself again. 

Practicing Breath Prayer

There are seasons in life when hurting people surround us. Your friend’s parent has cancer. Your sister lost her job. Your grandmother is not doing as well as she was last month. Your best friend shares heartbreaking news of another miscarriage. No one is immune to these tragedies and often you become like a sponge only soaking up heartache. You may say a prayer for your friends before bed, but as the list of petitions grows longer sometimes you feel like you cannot absorb any more. One way to help release this overwhelmed feeling is through Breath Prayer. This kind of prayer helps create awareness and connection with those who are hurting. Throughout your day, or even while you are with others, you can begin to pay attention to your breathing by taking deep, slow breaths. As you breathe in pray for healing. As you breathe out pray for peace. This practice is one that is helpful in the midst of a busy day or during a season of life when you find yourself surrounded by many in need of healing or peace. By regularly carrying out this practice you will find yourself connecting to others in a whole new way. 

If you are still feeling stuck connecting with yourself or others, then feel free to call me at (615) 979-4167 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’m happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to a person right for you. If you are looking for more self-care ideas, then be sure to check out previous recommendations or check back next week for other ways to invest in a better you. 

Self-Care Saturday: Life Giving Rest

Earlier this week I found myself in a conversation with friends about how regular times of rest improves performance at work. I enjoyed hearing how other people in my life cultivate these times on a regular basis. Each friend noted a particular fruit in their career because they made resting a priority. “Rest” in this conversation went beyond mere sleep, although that is a much-needed practice our world. Instead, when I think of rest I think of all of the things in my life that help me feel more alive. What in my life helps me to find nourishment on a deep, soul level? I encourage you to make a list of those things and put them into practice. In the meantime, here are two options to cultivate rest and nourish you on a deeper level.  

Practicing Yoga

Yoga is a practice that slows the mind and body by combining physical poses and meditation. This week I listened to an interview with Bessel van der Kolk discussing how yoga reconnects people impacted by trauma back to their bodies. He stated, “Yoga is the way to befriend your own body. Learning how to breathe calmly and move calmly is very important for them.” Even if you never experienced trauma in your life a growing trend for women is learning to connect with their bodies in healthy, restorative ways. Yoga can give you rest because it nourishes your whole body. For those looking for a free introduction to yoga then check out Yoga with Adriene online. (You always need to check with your doctor before beginning a fitness program). 

Saying "No"

Each day holds opportunities to say “yes” or “no” to aspects of our lives. Would you like to teach a Sunday school class this quarter? Can you coach our soccer team this year? Can you lead the business meetings in March? The questions never seem to stop, don’t they? Often our decisions are based in guilt and obligation. Rarely do we ask, “Is this the best way to spend my time?” One reason we do not ask this question is because we never take the time to figure out what we really want in life. If you decide that you want to be more connected to your kid, then take on the soccer coach adventure. If moving up in your company is not a priority, then do not force yourself to lead the next set of meetings.  For the next month, as a self-care experiment, take some time to figure out what is most important for you in the next year. In fact, take the month off from saying “yes” to anything new so that you can reflect on what you want from this year. Write down your goals and use those to help you say “yes” and “no.” Saying no can give you rest because it helps you to learn your limits and invest in the most important things. 

I hope this helps you create space for live giving rest. If you are still feeling stuck with reaching your goals for this year or befriending your body, feel free to call me at (615) 979-4168 for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with cultivating self-care practices, you can read more about how I can help here every Saturday on the blog.