You Are A Creative & Why I Bought A Watercolor Set in March 2020.

You are a creative.

Say it with me, “I am a creative.”

One more time for you in the back. “I am a creative.”

I know a lot of you don’t agree with that sentence AT ALL.
Look at us respectfully disagreeing as adults on the internet.
Please let me plead my case for you to embrace being a creative.

1. Brené Brown

Brené Brown’s work has deeply shaped my own personal work and introduced me to this idea. In her book, The Gift of Imperfection includes creativity as the way to let go of comparison. Do you need to quit playing the comparison game? We all do. Brené writes, “There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.”

2. Science

In  Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski’s book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle includes creative expression as one of the ways to complete your stress cycle. Are you stressed? Do something creative. They write, “Engaging in creative activities today leads to more energy, excitement, and enthusiasm tomorrow.”

3. It is a MAJOR self-care red flag when we are unable to come up with creative solutions.

In the book, Trauma Stewardship, “diminished creativity” is one of the sixteen Trauma Exposure Responses. When you are mentally overwhelmed with stressors it is harder to be creative and problem solve. Authors Laura van Dernoot Lipsky and Connie Burk include this quote from Cicero, “Only the person who is relaxed can create and to that mind, ideas flow like lightening.” Have you ever noticed how you think the best on a quiet car ride, on a run, or in the shower? Creativity needs some space to happen.

You are a creative. You really are.

Meal planning, cooking, decorating your house, writing, taking photos, captioning Instagram posts, parenting, crafting, painting, singing, music, and problem solving are all creative.

Can you make a quick list of all the creative solutions you have made in 2020?

In the middle of March 2020, we were looking at a couple of weeks (if we only knew) of being at home. I bought a watercolor set and printed some coloring sheets. I could feel the stress cycles building, and I knew I would need extra support; so, I sat at our kitchen table and painted.

I wasn’t painting to create a masterpiece or even for anyone else’s approval, but I needed to lean into my creativity. The watercolors are still out six months later.

Comment below on how you are a creative.

Cultivate A Gratitude Practice

Cultivating a gratitude practice is as simple as writing down three to five things or moments from your day that you are grateful for.

Paying attention to big and small moments that brought you joy, made you laugh, or helped you get through the day creates a healthy mindset of looking for positive moments instead of getting stuck on the low points of the day.

Even in 2020 we can find three to five things we are thankful for, right?

In March, moving my counseling practice online (over a weekend) and not really leaving our house WAS A LOT to navigate. It was a lot for all of us to navigate. It continues to be lot to navigate…

Honestly, my gratitude practice held me together some nights in March and April of this year. Those early days of being quarantined at home felt like scarcity at its finest. Nothing was as it should be and it didn’t feel like there was going to be enough toilet paper/meat/jobs/ventilators for everyone. It was way too much scarcity for my mind to hold, but I knew gratitude is the antidote to scarcity.

Every night before putting my daughter in her bed, I would rock her and name the three best parts of my day. Just writing them down wasn’t enough for me at that time I had to say them out loud.

Sometimes it was as basic as a blooming flower in our yard, listening to good music, seeing family on FaceTime, or finding that scarce toilet paper. But I needed to name it. Each and every one one of those moments deserved the credit for being a good part to my day.

Gratitude is an incredible framework to see your day through... even if it was a rough day.

Practicing it every day helps to rewire your brain. SHOUT OUT to neuroplasticity! Our brains will always be trying to keep us safe; and safety seeking means to remember when we felt scared, which is great to keep us from walking in front of moving cars. BUT we also need to remember the joyous moments too and sometimes our brains need the extra help.

Cultivating a gratitude practice is scientifically shown to help you become more optimistic, feel better about your life as a whole, and make progress toward your goals.

If you are looking for some ideas of what you might include in your gratitude practice, here are some ideas:

• the sunrise/sunset

• the funny thing your friend/kid/tv character said

• listening to a favorite song while doing the dishes

• the hard conversation you had with a friend

• savoring your cup of coffee

  Cultivate the life you want through gratitude because there is good stuff all around us.

Courageous Counseling

Vulnerability queen and shame researcher, Brené Brown said “courage is contagious.” She is right.

I couldn’t do my job without courage. Courage is baked into every step of my job.

The courage of my clients to contact a STRANGER and say “I am stuck” or “I am scared” or “this isn’t working anymore” and “I want more for myself” is a courageous act. Then, doing the hard work of processing her story is courageous. Consistently showing up and believing that a better tomorrow is coming is courageous. Then when she is ready, “graduating” from counseling is courageous.

It is fear in action.

It is the rebellious act of saying “I am not going to suffer in silence.”

It is choosing hope instead of hopelessness.

It is choosing yourself over self-abandonment.

It is choosing doing the hard work instead of holding onto hard things for forever.

It is full of courage and courage IS contagious.

I am a recipient of their courage. Their courage empowers me to live a braver life.

Being a therapist has changed me. It has changed my beliefs, my behavior, my expectations and my relationships. I don’t know if there is an area of my life that being a therapist hasn’t impacted. Hearing courageous stories holds up a powerful mirror to my life to keep me in line with my values and mental health.

The courageous cycle doesn’t end with the women I work with, but my hope is that my courage comes into my work and empowers the women I work with. I want to be the courageous counselor cheering my clients on to find their reason for being, finding mental and emotional health, and moving forwards their goals.

I couldn’t do my job without courage.

The courageous cycle of counseling is one of the biggest gifts in my life.

Ps. Surround yourself with courageous people. It helps. And so do courageous counselors.