Courageous Counseling

Vulnerability queen and shame researcher, Brené Brown said “courage is contagious.” She is right.

I couldn’t do my job without courage. Courage is baked into every step of my job.

The courage of my clients to contact a STRANGER and say “I am stuck” or “I am scared” or “this isn’t working anymore” and “I want more for myself” is a courageous act. Then, doing the hard work of processing her story is courageous. Consistently showing up and believing that a better tomorrow is coming is courageous. Then when she is ready, “graduating” from counseling is courageous.

It is fear in action.

It is the rebellious act of saying “I am not going to suffer in silence.”

It is choosing hope instead of hopelessness.

It is choosing yourself over self-abandonment.

It is choosing doing the hard work instead of holding onto hard things for forever.

It is full of courage and courage IS contagious.

I am a recipient of their courage. Their courage empowers me to live a braver life.

Being a therapist has changed me. It has changed my beliefs, my behavior, my expectations and my relationships. I don’t know if there is an area of my life that being a therapist hasn’t impacted. Hearing courageous stories holds up a powerful mirror to my life to keep me in line with my values and mental health.

The courageous cycle doesn’t end with the women I work with, but my hope is that my courage comes into my work and empowers the women I work with. I want to be the courageous counselor cheering my clients on to find their reason for being, finding mental and emotional health, and moving forwards their goals.

I couldn’t do my job without courage.

The courageous cycle of counseling is one of the biggest gifts in my life.

Ps. Surround yourself with courageous people. It helps. And so do courageous counselors.

How Four Questions Can Help You Find Your Reason for Being || Ikigai

What kind of life do you want?

It is really easy to name what you *should* want in your life, but more often I hear women unable to name what they actually want. One helpful practice that could help you become more intentional with the life you desire is finding your ikigai.

What is your reason for being? Ikigai, the Japanese concept that asks just that.

Your ikigai, your reason for being, is the intersection of your passion, mission, vocation, and profession.
Asking these four questions and see how you can combine them is one way to help you intentionally craft the life you want.

What do I love?
What does the world need?
What can I be paid for?
What am I good at?

Take your time and answer these questions.

If you are feeling stuck ask a love one, mentor, or co-worker how they would answer those questions.

Your answer in your twenties may look different then when you come back to these questions in your thirties… and that just means you a growing.

Rob Bell writes, “your ikigai is a work in progress because you are a work in progress. Knowing your ikigai, then, takes patience and insight, and courage, and honesty.”

Patience. Insight. Courage. Honesty. This is important work.

You may be feeling stuck or are about to enter into a new life transition and are feeling the full body overwhelm. Put your feet on the ground and take three slow easy breaths. Let these questions guide you. Give your self permission to craft a beautiful life that only you can live. Let the world be changed because of YOUR reason for being.

Stop. Collaborate. And Listen.

Are you feeling stuck? Are you hitting road blocks and cannot seem to move forward?

Is it time to “Stop. Collaborate. And Listen?” (Yes, I did link a Vanilla Ice on a professional blog, but look at how many view it has).

s t o p:

Name the problem. What it is contributing to the issue? What do you need? What systems feed the problem? How is the issue impacting your life?

c o l l a b o r a t e:

Maybe you don’t know everything? Maybe?

This question is difficult for most of us, especially if your mind runs fast and leans towards anxiety. You have *already* thought of every possible solution/failure/vulnerability.

Your brain is trying to protect you from feeling unsafe, BUT you may be missing something. Someone else may see it differently. Maybe you don’t know everything and that is a good thing. Because what you can create through collaboration will be even better than what you could have made on your own.

Collaborating with friends, family, co-workers, your therapist, or your kid could help you create something beautiful.

l i s t e n:
Really listen to them. Hear them out. Ask questions. They really might know something about the issue at hand that you don’t know or create insight for both of you.

Lastly, pay attention to how working together and collaborating feels in your body. What does it physically feel like to share the burden with someone? Check in with your thoughts. Does it feel safer to have someone on your team helping you solve the problem? Really listen to your mind, body, and emotions as you collaborate.

You and _______________ (your collaboration partner) have got this.