Cultivate A Gratitude Practice

Cultivating a gratitude practice is as simple as writing down three to five things or moments from your day that you are grateful for.

Paying attention to big and small moments that brought you joy, made you laugh, or helped you get through the day creates a healthy mindset of looking for positive moments instead of getting stuck on the low points of the day.

Even in 2020 we can find three to five things we are thankful for, right?

In March, moving my counseling practice online (over a weekend) and not really leaving our house WAS A LOT to navigate. It was a lot for all of us to navigate. It continues to be lot to navigate…

Honestly, my gratitude practice held me together some nights in March and April of this year. Those early days of being quarantined at home felt like scarcity at its finest. Nothing was as it should be and it didn’t feel like there was going to be enough toilet paper/meat/jobs/ventilators for everyone. It was way too much scarcity for my mind to hold, but I knew gratitude is the antidote to scarcity.

Every night before putting my daughter in her bed, I would rock her and name the three best parts of my day. Just writing them down wasn’t enough for me at that time I had to say them out loud.

Sometimes it was as basic as a blooming flower in our yard, listening to good music, seeing family on FaceTime, or finding that scarce toilet paper. But I needed to name it. Each and every one one of those moments deserved the credit for being a good part to my day.

Gratitude is an incredible framework to see your day through... even if it was a rough day.

Practicing it every day helps to rewire your brain. SHOUT OUT to neuroplasticity! Our brains will always be trying to keep us safe; and safety seeking means to remember when we felt scared, which is great to keep us from walking in front of moving cars. BUT we also need to remember the joyous moments too and sometimes our brains need the extra help.

Cultivating a gratitude practice is scientifically shown to help you become more optimistic, feel better about your life as a whole, and make progress toward your goals.

If you are looking for some ideas of what you might include in your gratitude practice, here are some ideas:

• the sunrise/sunset

• the funny thing your friend/kid/tv character said

• listening to a favorite song while doing the dishes

• the hard conversation you had with a friend

• savoring your cup of coffee

  Cultivate the life you want through gratitude because there is good stuff all around us.

Courageous Counseling

Vulnerability queen and shame researcher, Brené Brown said “courage is contagious.” She is right.

I couldn’t do my job without courage. Courage is baked into every step of my job.

The courage of my clients to contact a STRANGER and say “I am stuck” or “I am scared” or “this isn’t working anymore” and “I want more for myself” is a courageous act. Then, doing the hard work of processing her story is courageous. Consistently showing up and believing that a better tomorrow is coming is courageous. Then when she is ready, “graduating” from counseling is courageous.

It is fear in action.

It is the rebellious act of saying “I am not going to suffer in silence.”

It is choosing hope instead of hopelessness.

It is choosing yourself over self-abandonment.

It is choosing doing the hard work instead of holding onto hard things for forever.

It is full of courage and courage IS contagious.

I am a recipient of their courage. Their courage empowers me to live a braver life.

Being a therapist has changed me. It has changed my beliefs, my behavior, my expectations and my relationships. I don’t know if there is an area of my life that being a therapist hasn’t impacted. Hearing courageous stories holds up a powerful mirror to my life to keep me in line with my values and mental health.

The courageous cycle doesn’t end with the women I work with, but my hope is that my courage comes into my work and empowers the women I work with. I want to be the courageous counselor cheering my clients on to find their reason for being, finding mental and emotional health, and moving forwards their goals.

I couldn’t do my job without courage.

The courageous cycle of counseling is one of the biggest gifts in my life.

Ps. Surround yourself with courageous people. It helps. And so do courageous counselors.

How Four Questions Can Help You Find Your Reason for Being || Ikigai

What kind of life do you want?

It is really easy to name what you *should* want in your life, but more often I hear women unable to name what they actually want. One helpful practice that could help you become more intentional with the life you desire is finding your ikigai.

What is your reason for being? Ikigai, the Japanese concept that asks just that.

Your ikigai, your reason for being, is the intersection of your passion, mission, vocation, and profession.
Asking these four questions and see how you can combine them is one way to help you intentionally craft the life you want.

What do I love?
What does the world need?
What can I be paid for?
What am I good at?

Take your time and answer these questions.

If you are feeling stuck ask a love one, mentor, or co-worker how they would answer those questions.

Your answer in your twenties may look different then when you come back to these questions in your thirties… and that just means you a growing.

Rob Bell writes, “your ikigai is a work in progress because you are a work in progress. Knowing your ikigai, then, takes patience and insight, and courage, and honesty.”

Patience. Insight. Courage. Honesty. This is important work.

You may be feeling stuck or are about to enter into a new life transition and are feeling the full body overwhelm. Put your feet on the ground and take three slow easy breaths. Let these questions guide you. Give your self permission to craft a beautiful life that only you can live. Let the world be changed because of YOUR reason for being.