Self-Care Saturday: Creating Space for Reflection

Creating space for reflection can be one of the best tools for self-care. But slowing down and quieting your mind may be difficult. Removing yourself from the hustle of daily life may seem like an unnecessary step. Yet, often that step of creating quiet space provides a new level of creativity and thought. (Maybe this is why people say they do their best thinking in the shower). Here are some questions to reflect on this week in your quiet space. Your reflections can help re-channel your energy to produce deeper richness through the day. 

Sacred Space is a powerful daily prayer book. 

When are you feeling more hopeful? 
Where are you being encouraged? 
How are you growing in life-giving ways?                                                                                             In what activities or occasions are you using your strengths? 
Which of your relationships give you the most life and hope? 

After reflecting on these questions consider how you can make more space for these life-giving experiences and relationships. Part of creating this space will require saying "no" to something (and people) in order to say "yes" to more fruitful ways of being. Consider how you might change your daily or weekly rhythm to intentionally incorporate these practices. 

Self-Care Saturday: The Power of "Good for You."

At the end of 2014 I had a variety of encounters where I walked away feeling shame. 

Shame is the emotion connected to the thought “I am not enough.” 

The gist of these encounters: 

Friend: “Here is this great* thing I am doing.” 

Me: Spiraling inside because I am not doing that great* thing. (Insert shame here). 

After a handful of these encounters, I took a long look at why I was reacting this way. I realized the feeling happened when conversations steered towards areas of my life where I already felt “not enough.” Their sharing only triggered my shame. 

I believe that most of these people were not intentionally trying to make me feel inadequate, though I am sure some were. Regardless, what I realized is this: I am not in control of their intentions, but I am in control of my reactions. 

And this was the moment I realized the power of “good for you.” 

“Good for you” is my new response to these encounters. The phrase reminds me that when people share a great* new thing for their life, it may not be a great* new thing for my life. “Good for you” is a step in helping me to resist the shame in my own life while at the same time changing my attitude towards the other person.

The gist of these new encounters:

Friend: “We switched out all refined sugar, gluten, and dairy. I feel amazing.” 

You: “Good for you.” (Instead of questioning your last caloric intake, you cheerlead a friend who feels amazing). 

Friend: “We are using cloth diapers because it is so good for the environment and our budget.”

You: “Good for you.” (Instead of a shame spiral about your bank account dwindling due to Huggies or because the idea of cloth diapers makes you gag). 

Mother-in-law: “You know, our daughter potty-trained both Sally and John in a weekend.” 

You: “Good for her.” (Sure your blood pressure may rise, but it was great for your sister-in-law to potty train in a weekend. But potty training is hard and maybe this will help shake off the resentment towards your in-laws). 

Saying “good for you” helps me pivot away from a shame spiral. Instead, the response helps me to draw a boundary. I can protect myself from spinning questions in my head wondering if their great* thing should be great for me. I can better support my friends and the new things they are trying.  

Saying “good for you” is both good for them and good for me. 

*Great for her does not mean it has to be great for you. 

Your One Wild and Precious Life

I cannot add much more to Mary Oliver's wise advice, but here are some hopes I have for you. 

May you embrace your one wild and precious life. 
May you be fully present for your one wild and precious life. 
May you be compassionate with yourself as you live your one wild and precious life. 

Today be mindful of how you spend your time by asking "Is this what I want to do with my one wild and precious life?" 

Let your answers guide your decisions tomorrow. 

If you are looking for a therapist in Nashville to help you live a more wild and precious life, contact Jessica at 615-979-4168.